Getting back on track..

 

In all honesty, it has been a very difficult 2 years down here in Florida. Our financial situation was/is in dire straights due to Covid giving us the 1, 2 punch and having Deb give up her social work practice. The mere fact that we didnt know if she was going to survive sent a shock wave through our existance and as a family we rallied.

Brandon was already living down here having retired from te Marine Corps with Lara also a retired Marine. Both had/have good paying jobs and were financially stable. They purchased a second house with the intent of moving us down here to live and be closer to our grandaughter, etc.

The arangement was for all of our children to "chip in", rent the house from them and free up any worry about our financial situation by providing a roof over our head and a place to call home. The issue begins with employment for everyone. Myself, I am un-employed and drawing Social Security finally after waiting for almost three years and not being eligible for SSDI. Deb having her own practice in Maine is/was having difficulty in securing employmet down here due to lack of references from employers. She has all the credentialing and experience she needs for a good paying job, but nobody wants to hire at an expense if they can get a local newbie in the field. The term "Over Qualified" bears a great weight down here.

The others, having pulled up roots, relocated from Maine and Tennessee were thrown into the mix with employment issues of their own. So basically meeting ends has been difficult and now Brandon and Lara have a second child only compounds the financial burden we have put them in. 

The plus side, Deb has finally managed to nail down an employer and has gained full time as well as a part time position within her field and financially we are and will get back on track and hopefully relieve some of the burden all around. In addition to the above, we have been dealing with vehicle issues this whole time adding again more financial debt and stress. Its been an emotional couple years full of turmoil, tollerance and self awareness, but we are hanging in, pushing thru and ready to take on whatever comes our way once again. Its funny how all this started mainly due to health concerns, me with the heart attack, diabetes diagnosis, and Deb clinging to life from Covid and its lingering effects.

Don't have to break the bank/s...

 

Food Banks and Financial banks alike..

We are now on my social security wage for retirement with a household of 6 at the moment. With the price of groceries today, that is about the equivalent of (Negative) $500 -600 in our budget after paying the bills, the vehicle and insurance payments. etc...

Just how is one to survive with so little in an expensive state.??

Resources that how: we have been researching and visiting many of the food pantries and food banks around our area say within a 20 mile radius and within our county. We have come across 50 -60 of them so far.. all offering "Free Food" items.. most know how a pantry works, so I wont go into detail.. but between canned items, breads, pastries, some meats, etc.. we have managed to accumulate around $400 worth of groceries already this past week alone. Many are available for weekly visits some are once a month, you pick and choose and how often you want to go..

With things the way they are, most won't/don't have perishables like dairy, eggs, etc. but occasionally you get lucky and they do.. a glimpse of week -1

Potatoes, fruits, onions

Secondary canned items 

Ready to eats...meats, potatoes, mixes, coatings, syrups

Pastas of all kinds, 

Misc. freezer items

Bread, bread and more breads, all kinds, pastries, donuts, cakes, cookies..

Meats, fresh veggies, etc. at the moment this is about three layers deep.

So... moral of the story, with a little effort and some minimal travel, one can stock their home and pantries and still have plenty of  cash from your hard earned money for other necessities.

This is all without SNAP/ Food Stamps, etc. Those would all be a bonus... so sit down, take stock of your needs, and hit some pantries.. you meet all kinds of great people willing to lend a hand when times are tough.. One should not have to choose, car payment, health, or food.. its there , use it, and at some point if yu can, you simply return the gesture to others...

Blue Origin's New Glenn

 Blue Origin's New Glenn.. a successful launch, 01/16/25.

 After several diverted attempts over a few days, she finally flies. The goal was to get her to orbit safely and they succeeded. They did however loose the booster and a failed landing as they somehow lost the trajectory upon return. Considering it was a maiden flight for Blue , all in all, she was spectacular and a success.

Our son Brandon has been working on this rocket for over two years now along with a rover and a satellite that will one day be in orbit as well. All the crew members( over 1000) had signed the capsule prior to its maiden flight as a show of team work and for posterity. They all signed digitally and their names were painted on the rocket. Couldn't be prouder of him for his dedication and work as well as completing his Bachelors of Science Degree in Space Studies.

Hitting that magical age.

 RETIREMENT... dear Lord. I refer to it as retirement but have seemingly been retired for awhile now it means that in legal terms I have reached that age. come January this year I will be 62, Legal early retirement age...lol.

Have a great deal many plans and things  I would love to accomplish, yet finances may dictate otherwise as Social Security doesn't pay near enough to sustain a certain lifestyle. So between now and then, I guess I have some sorting and planning to do.

Health sure took me by surprise back in 2020 and I have somewhat been floating ever since then. No real accomplishments, plans, etc, save for family, I probably would have said screw it and given in.

Guess we all hit a time when we have to sit, and think of our legacy and remaining life.. Chapters are yet to be written, so we shall see what the future holds.

"Cruisin Life..

 

Finished off the year 2024 with a nice cruise. Eight full days of sailing from Miami to Curaçao. Went with Carnival cruise lines as we enjoyed the last ship we were on, however this one was not as good. Food kind of sucked a bit, same thing every day, entertainment was really bad. They had some younger folks doing every show, no substitutions at all, same cast and crew every show. Aruba was grand, loved spending the day there, then on to Bonaire which kind of sucked as it was mostly still under development and the sights were minimal, unless you wanted to visit what few souvenir shops there were. Didn't make much sense to me to have spent an entire day there in port with nothing really to offer, but only a few short hours at our final destination which was of course Curacao. Nice day spent there on the beach but alas a much shorter day which was disappointing to me.

 

I think I enjoyed the actual sailing more than the destinations. I love just cruising the sea with the sunshine, a drink and taking in the sights. Would probably take a second cruise with the same destinations but not for a few years as I would like to see Bonaire built up more and having a great deal more to offer, or skipped entirely.

Previous cruise we were on the MSC lines, much bigger ship and offered a great deal more amenities and better drink package. A tad more costly but worth it in the end I think. We also had a balcony suite so that added to the cost. To me it was a more enjoyable cruise all in all.

Gem in a box..

 

Came across this gem of a photo the other day. Circa 1977. St. Johnsbury Jr. High School (Trade School) for you 'ol timers..lol. Sure did a lot of growing up in them days. Some of the best and worst years. Friendships were formed, dismantled, good times availed as well as a few scraps and clashes in between.

Fond memories though..

End of another..

 

Well another year and chapter closed. As we bring an end to 2023 I reflect on the many positives and not so positive times and events that shaped the year.  Its been an interesting ride thus far and look forward to 2024 where I am sure there will be many more events and times.

We are not here to be comfortable and coddled for entirety, we have been put here to learn, teach and care for others during our lifetime. Its a matter of what can we do for others comfort and stability.

Daughter in law Lara has taken it upon herself to try and help me gain the Veteran Benefits that have escaped me for 40 years now. I never really felt the need or the inclination to even attempt to find out eligibility for the various benefits. Once discharged I kind of just wanted to put things out of mind and move on without dealing with the bureaucracy that is the VA and its policies, etc. In truth, I just prefer to forget I even served at all, not really being all that proud of that time in my life. But alas, it is appreciative and possibly beneficial for me due to the ongoing health and need for prescriptions and check ups, etc. I have been denied SSI and SSDI thus far and have had no income for over three years now and increased anxiety and urgency for an income of some kind to lessen the burden placed on Deb and the kids.

Long story short, I have applied for health benefits , my Vet ID card other than the designation on my drivers license which still need to be changed over to Florida. So, I intend to ride the benefits train as far as I can or until denied..

Never ending Nightmare:

 I won't be sleeping tonight

I know that it's gonna be war (War)

Lately been up, wondering why

I'm even worth fighting for

I've been getting so tired of holding the line, yeah

The price that I pay to survive seems so high and I

I am raising my white flag tonight

When I close my eyes it's there waiting for me

Finds me every time, will I never be free?

There's a monster I caged deep behind my eyes

I can never escape, I've been running for miles

When the morning comes I know it will still be there

My never ending nightmare (My never ending nightmare)

Pull the veil over my eyes 

So I can't see the person I've become

What am I doing with my life?

Try to stop staring at the sun

But my eyes get the best of me

I'm on the edge, I'm in too deep

Why can't you see that I'm right here waiting?

I close my eyes, it's there waiting for me

Finds me every time, will I never be free?

There's a monster I caged deep behind my eyes

I can never escape, I've been running for miles

When the morning comes I know it will still be there

My never ending nightmare

I've almost had enough

Knowing I just couldn't get much lower

It's got me so messed up

Never knowing when this story's over

It's so hard to fight for myself

When living means living in hell

When I close my eyes it's there waiting for me

Finds me every time, will I never be free?

There's a monster I caged deep behind my eyes

I can never escape, I've been running for miles

When the morning comes I know it will still be there

My never ending nightmare, (My never ending nightmare)

(A reason to live)

 How many nights have you waited for someone to care

Thinking dying is what you deserve

Like a sad song that no one seems to understand

'Cause some pain is just too much for words

No, I don't know your name

No, I can't see your face

But I've been to that place in the dark

So in case you just needed to hear someone say

I'm so proud of you for getting this far

So if you're feeling like dying

No tears left for crying

Alone at the edge of a cliff

If you're so sick of fighting

The monsters you're hiding

And wondering if you would be missed

You're not the only one that's feeling likе this

If you're hearing this song it's a gift

A reason to livе,

(A reason to live)

How many times have you reached out for anyone's hand

From the depths of your personal hell?

And then counted the ways you could end all your pain

'Cause you're so tired of saving yourself

I'm a stranger at best but please don't second guess

All the hope that you hear in my voice

This is not some cliché, promise you if you stay

Someday you'll see that you were well worth that choice

You Are Enough

Soldier

So if you're feeling like dying

No tears left for crying

Alone at the edge of a cliff

If you're so sick of fighting

The monsters you're hiding

And wondering if you would be missed

You're not the only one that's feeling like this

If you're hearing this song it's a gift

What a beautiful truth that a human can choose

To become more than just what they feel

'Cause the hell in your head will be nothing compared

To the person that it couldn't kill

Welcome Fall.

 

You can tell when its fall in Florida simply by looking at license plates as you drive around. The colors of fall are on the rear of most vehicles..lol. All kidding aside, the tourism industry begins to boom as the snowbirds and others begin to filter in as evidenced by he numerous differences in license pates seen throughout the state.

As we say goodbye to those humid summer days with slightly lower temps its a welcome reprieve from sweltering temps, damp humidity and sticky, sweltering bodies. I am not complaining at all, as I wouldn't trade these days for the cold, snowy north. I believe I have settled into my comfort zone here in Florida. Can't beat the porch sitting in November thru Feb or March without shivering my ass off or having to worry about shoveling out the driveway, etc. No more having to be sure there is oil in the tank for heat, etc. Anyway I could go over all the pro's & con's but I will spare you and myself, you get the gist of it anyway.

She is done..

 Much happier with the blue than that ugly terra cotta look.

Transformation under way..

 

The house is finally getting painted after several months of waiting and pissing off the HOA.. No fault of ours though. Here are all the cracks found along the back side of the house. All patched and ready for paint. Filled a couple on the sides as well but has yet to do the front side which is worse than the back I am sure. Currently repairing some shotty drywall work on the porch ceiling. For whatever reason the tried to screw it up there and completely missed the beams with the screws so nothing was really holding it up in spots other than the existing paint, and of course the cracks started showing up and getting bigger over time, so....And instead of using the appropriate type of drywall, they just used the same as the interior and that doesn't work in the temps and weather conditions Florida has, but what can ya do, Not replacing an entire ceiling so patching as best that can be done. 

More as we get along...

Day -3 paint started:

interior/exterior porch done, Started the above section of back wall then weather halted it.

Day 4 and the entire back side is now done as well the two sides, front is patched and ready for paint. 

Liking the porch color a lot better than that awful terra-cotta orange.

Painter took weekend off as it was his birthday so hopefully tomorrow, Monday it will be finished all around, we'll see.

The big 5.

 

We had a small family party for Aria's 5th Birthday. Hard to believe she is already 5 years old and smarter than a whip. She is always a joy to have around.

Front garden started.

 

The former garden area is/was in need of a make-over as the shrubs that were there were overgrown and unsightly so I finally got started on it. Whomever owned the house prior, put a ton of crushed rock down and no matter how deep I go, I keep hitting more and more.

I planted Bromeliads before going north last month, but now in hindsight I wish I had waited as they are a low growing plant and would have been better in the front. I might still change them, just not sure as yet. Depends on what else I decide to put in the area. The original are as you can see was approx. 6 feet in depth and the length of the front section of the house. We are/will be cutting that down to about half the depth as highlighted by the string. The brick work will be brought back to the stone line and we will fill in the area with fresh soil, etc. to give any new plant a running start.

Take a look at that potted Mexican Mint ( Coleus amboinicus) plant, its already become three times its size since bringing it home..

I also started a small area on the other side of the entrance with snake plants.

The dreaded deed,,

 

Its that time, and the first time too.

Yuppers time for a colonoscopy. Its about ten years overdue, and I am following up on doctor recommendations this time.

Spent the day yesterday traveling to Maine, and today prepping for the procedure. Tomorrow is the actual visit and exam.. we shall see what the results are then. I also have a follow up appointment with my PC Tuesday as well. With any luck at all that will be it for visits and exams for a while as I am really getting tired of taking these trips for medical follow ups, etc.

Possible postal delivery.

 

A dear friend had planted some Mullein plants a few years back and this year they decided to make their presence known. She has offered to send my some seeds if she can harvest any this year. Usually used for a medicinal or herbal tea, but I mostly want them for stature, size, and color for the front garden. We will see what happens if she is able to send them along.

She struck again..

 

The same nice lady that had given me her plants the other day messaged me again yesterday. She was determined that I was going to take more plants from her.lol.

I was going after a couple Bromeliads and a couple snake plant cuttings, and per usual I came home with 4 Bromeliads, this Aloe Yucca, with two adults and a couple pups, 5 Snake plants, and a handful or should I say a potful of Spider plants. She also threw in a couple terracotta pots and plates.. My back porch is being over taken..lol. From the Cacti I received I have already separated a few, and by a few I mean at least a dozen and the process is and will be ongoing for the summer I guess. At some point I need to prep the front area for the garden but I have been to busy dealing with the plants..

We will be heading to Maine for the end of the month for about a week to clear up my medical appointments that have been scheduled, and to do a presentation for PIH..Debs new LLC adventure. We are doing a presentation here in Cocoa today as well. My concern is the plants..lol. Our daughter has anything but a green thumb. So what will I return to.? I will have to baby them and prep them all before we leave and hope for the best, as well hope we don't get any nasty weather while we are gone. We'll see and hope for the best.

Happiness is guaranteed.

 

Everything in life, every single moment is a gift given from a power beyond our scope of understanding.

Every organism that is given life is inherited from sources we do not, nor ever will know. As the saying states: we are placed in this universe without instructions. Life becomes what we are allowed to make of it. We have been handed a silver platter, each and everyone of us from day one. Make the most of it, experience life, and enjoy your gifts.

Yardwork and temps.

 Been a productive but tiring few days here at the homestead. Temps have been in the 90+ range with feel likes around the 103-107 range. Managed to power wash all the pavers in the front and back yard, as they were getting kind of disgusting and black and had slime, and algae all over them. Also hand plucked so much grass and weeds from the cracks and crevices that my fingers are sore as hell at the moment. Just finished mowing the yard, figured I would do it in the evening as it wouldn't be so hot and humid... WRONG, guess again. my co0re temp is so hot right now my glasses keep fogging up every three seconds. But It is starting to look a little better around here when its cleaned up.. Still have to do something with the front area were I removed all the shrubs, just has been way to hot for much of anything.. So that might be a prep thing from now into the fall months and an early spring planting chore.

Time for a cold ass shower to remove the grub, and relax a bit before calling it a day. Positive side... I don't have to do it tomorrow..lol.

Front pavers on both sides of the driveway. Grass and weed free for now.

Looks like I forgot the actual driveway though, oops guess I will be doing it tomorrow after all. Grrr also trimming the edge and cleaning that up as well.

Still need to weed out the back pavers anyway, but they are already pressure washed and ready to go accept the last coupe rows as my hose wasn't long enough.

Mondays project is to remove the white stone, get rid of the weeds, and put down a barrier, and recover with clean stone. This is were I intend to place a couple tall plants to bring a bit of color and life to the back patio area outside.

🍃🔪 Desert Rose trimming and propagation

Looking kind of rough, only seen one flower this year as apposed to several last year. Its either time to repot or maybe give it a trim.

Think I will attempt to trim it, especially the tall branch. By trimming I am hoping it will encourage it to grow a few new branches and kind of fill it in some. It need some new growth regardless.

I will take the cutting/s and attempt to propagate them as new plants as well.

I tied back the branches last year to try and shape it some, so I will release those as well and see if they stay put or just bounce back to where they were.

Wish me luck, I have never trimmed one of these before so hopefully I don't kill it off. 🌺

UPDATE:

Trimmed  off the upper branch from the tall stalk. The caudex was looking sad and somewhat soft in a couple spots which usually indicates the plant is dying off, so I trimmed off the bad/soft spots treated with a fungicide.

Grafted the cutting to see if I could save it and generate some new growth in a different direction. We'll see what happens. I was really hesitant to do any cutting at all, but in order to give it a chance, I figured I better try or loose it anyway.

I will update again if I see any changes over the next week or two.